I remember when I first started seeing results from working out. See, I used to avoid lifting weights because I wasn’t strong enough, but then something shifted – dudes were starting to compliment me. So yeah, it boosted my ego.
For some reason, my legs were growing pretty fast, and I could easily pump out 20 plates full reps on the leg press. So I set this ambitious goal: squat 315 fifteen times, and do at least 5 squats without holding the bar.
The Day I Crushed the Goal (And Felt Nothing)
I worked on it for about 2 months — I kinda obsessed over it. Then one day after work, I said, “I’m going to try it.” And I crushed it. I couldn’t believe it either – it was easier than I imagined.
But something felt off.
If I’m being truly honest, I only felt good because the whole gym was watching and congratulating me. For me? It felt just like a regular workout. I thought it would feel special, but I was kinda indifferent.
You ever hit a goal you’ve been chasing for months — maybe years — and instead of that movie-moment celebration… you just felt nothing? Maybe even a little empty?
What is Hedonic Adaptation?
Well, it’s not in our heads, and we’re not broken. There’s actually a name for it. Researchers call it “hedonic adaptation,” or the hedonic treadmill.
It basically means our brains adjust to every new level – or significant milestone – so fast that the thing we thought would change everything for us… doesn’t. Our happiness returns to a “baseline” almost immediately.
Nobody really talks about this, especially men, because we’re taught that the grind is supposed to pay off emotionally and physically. So when it doesn’t, we don’t question the system… we question ourselves.
Tying Worth to the Outcome vs. the Journey
Here’s the hard truth I had to learn: that emptiness isn’t a sign I’m ungrateful. It’s a sign I tied my worth to the outcome instead of the person I was becoming along the way.
- A brand deal I’ve been wanting doesn’t fix me.
- The relationship I fought for doesn’t complete me.
- The money I made didn’t quiet the noise in my head that I was still lacking something.
The dangerous part? Most of us just set another goal to chase that feeling again — only this time bigger, harder, faster — instead of stopping long enough to ask, “Why doesn’t any of this excite me?”
The Win Was Never Supposed to Save You
The win was just supposed to show us what we’re capable of. I’ll let you chew on that for a sec. The real work towards anything doesn’t start at the finish line.
It starts the moment we stop running long enough to ask ourselves — “What am I actually running from vs running to?”
Chase goals. Dream big. Win hard. And when that success starts to lose its luster, go back to step one — is this a goal, or an escape?
If this landed, I’d love to know. Comment below so we can all learn from each other. I read every single one.
And if you need a tangible way to focus on the process instead of just the outcome, grab my Land Blend to make the daily habit of cooking feel like a win, or check out my Fit Men Cook app to track the journey, not just the destination.
Best,
Kevin
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hey, I’m Kevin
My name is Kevin. My life changed when I realized that healthy living is a lifelong journey, mainly won by having a well-balanced diet and maintaining an active lifestyle.
By experimenting in the kitchen and sharing my meals on Tumblr, I learned healthy eating is not boring! By making a few adjustments to my favorite foods, I could design a diet that could help me achieve my wellness goals while satisfying my desire for BANGIN food! ? Now I try to help people around the world realize that same level of freedom in eating regardless of budget. Welcome, let’s #DemocratizeWellness together!
